The One Word Researchers Agree Makes You More Persuasive

These days, you can barely scroll through social media without coming across some sort of life guru promising to make you a more assertive person with one simple trick. Or perhaps your timeline is inundated with rise-and-grinders extolling the virtues of sleeping for just twenty minutes a day in order to maximize your daily potential. Life optimization and self-betterment of this sort is big business, even if a lot of it is, lamentably, hokum. But what about simple ways to improve aspects of our lives that are actually backed by scientific research, such as saying "we" a little more often?

There's no reason why the grifters should distract from the very real benefits that science can confer upon our daily lives, especially when it comes to things such as verifiable ways to improve your memory or science-backed ways to improve study habits. One area where small changes can also make a real, observable difference is with our speech. For example, research has shown that one word in particular can actually make us more persuasive, and it's turning that oft-used "you" into a "we."

Some are naturally good at persuasion, whether by virtue of being particularly knowledgeable on a given subject or simply by being inherently charismatic. But for those who aren't blessed with an innate talent for persuasion or who might even hate the sound of their own voice, it turns out there is a specific word that can help to transform speech and increase the chances of swaying listeners.

According to an article published in the Journal of Experimental Social Psychology, using first-person plural pronouns can improve receptivity to certain messages. That essentially means that using "we" instead of "you" will increase the likelihood of persuading a listener in certain situations. Specifically, the researchers noted that in adversarial contexts, using second-person pronouns ("you") means listeners are more likely to be receptive to a message, rather than messages containing first-person plural pronouns ("we"). What's more, "you" pronouns were shown to convey aggressiveness, reducing listeners' receptiveness to the message. Receptiveness is also shown to be particularly important as it influences important consequences, such as persuasion, the listener's interest in future interaction, and their tendency to share what they heard.

While there is a direct connection between pronoun usage and persuasiveness, there's more to it than simply swapping "you" for "we." The Journal of Experimental Social Psychology studies, collated in a paper titled "You versus we: How pronoun use shapes perceptions of receptiveness," explored how people signal their receptiveness to others and whether pronoun use could shape perceptions of receptiveness. The findings came from five separate studies which overall showed that usage of the "we" pronoun increased receptiveness as opposed to usage of the "you" pronoun. Researchers noted specifically that "we" pronouns help listeners to feel psychologically closer to speakers, while conveying a sense of closeness and inclusivity.

But it's important to note that swapping "you" out for "we" isn't always easy. In fact, using "we" in the wrong context could actually have a negative effect, such as when referring to something that clearly only affects one person. So, if your boss leaves on time but asks you to stay late using the "we" pronoun, that will come off as condescending and quite obviously manipulative. Likewise, if "we" is used instead of "you" when referring to somebody else's accomplishment, it could appear as though you're trying to take the credit.

While swapping out "you" for "we" isn't a fool-proof way to increase receptiveness, there are clear instances when doing so is beneficial. "We" is more appropriate when trying to make others feel more included, ensure an individual doesn't feel singled out, or when simply trying to gain agreement for your point of view.

The first study in the Journal of Experimental Social Psychology paper, for example, saw participants read a persuasive message on the topic of lowering the legal drinking age. Messages used either the "you" or "we" pronouns, and the researchers noted that those who used the "we" pronouns had increased receptiveness. In that instance, "we" clearly has a much more persuasive effect when trying to gain agreement on a particular topic or point of view.

The researchers also state that "you" pronouns convey a sense of aggressiveness. With this in mind, simply avoiding the use of "you" would be another way to increase receptiveness to whatever it is you're saying, and potentially increase persuasiveness.