9 Signs That Someone Is An Authentic Person

Authenticity is a word that is often thrown around, but its true meaning is not always fully understood. People may use a sense of "being true to themselves" as an excuse to be rude, ignorant, or close-minded, but this is missing the point of what a truly authentic person is.

Authenticity is a holistic concept, where a person lives every aspect of their lives in tandem with their core values and beliefs, regardless of what others may think or say about them. This awareness of our true self can be a rare commodity, and one that many of us may not yet have experienced. For this reason, we may mock or criticize someone who lives their life on their own terms, as it may make us feel insecure with our own decisions.

Like how there are personality traits that often correlate with high intelligence, there are also many traits of an authentic person, and some may not be as obvious as others. From feeling comfortable in their own skin to being a great listener, there are a variety of ways in which you can spot a truly authentic person in your life. Let's take a look at nine signs that someone is an authentic person and the steps you can take to incorporate authenticity into your own life.

In our modern world of Instagram and trending-everything, going along with the crowd is the norm for most people. Whether it's succumbing to the psychology of Black Friday and buying the latest tech in a  sale or giving in to the advertising that is literally following you around the streets, so many of the decisions we make on a daily basis are not really ours at all. Standing up against the masses can be a difficult thing, but if you are truly authentic, you will take time to reflect on what really matters to you.

There is an important distinction between not following the crowd and being deliberately defiant in order to stand out. For an authentic person, how others see them doesn't matter at all. If they have made a mistake in the past, they will change course next time; if something has worked for them, they will continue on that path. This doesn't mean that they won't own an iPhone or be addicted to the latest Netflix box set; it simply means that for the big decisions in life, they use their inner compass as a guide, regardless of what society may expect.

If you are aiming to live your life more authentically, pause before you make a decision and ask whether it is what you truly want, or what you think other people will be impressed by. If it is the latter, you may want to hold off until you have done a little soul searching to find what is most important to you.

If you are the type of person that turns up to events wearing a ridiculous costume that you know people will mock, but it makes you happy to do so, then this can be a sign of authenticity. Being comfortable in your own skin is a key aspect of self acceptance, loving even the parts of you that go against the grain and compete with societal norms.

An authentic person has a positive ego — this doesn't mean they are egotistical in the sense of self-absorbed, rather that they can look at themselves and see all the positives along with the negatives, and not spiral into self-doubt because they are less than perfect.

If you always feel the need to look your very best, whether for photos on social media or brunch with your pals, it may be beneficial to focus on one aspect of yourself that you are usually critical of, and work on being more accepting of it. This won't happen overnight, and it can be difficult at first, but taking the first step towards it will be key. According to clinical psychologist Russell Grieger, self-acceptance means that "You accept that, as a fallible human being, you are less than perfect" (via Positive Psychology). Once you begin your self-acceptance journey, you may begin to notice that people around you have similar flaws, you just didn't notice as you were much more critical of yourself than of others.

Being transparent and tactful in our modern age is not an easy task — people are often offended by the truth, and many of us choose to sugarcoat it to prevent rocking the boat. However, constantly trying to please others leads to a gradual loss of your own identity, and being transparent and honest is a trait that is linked to authenticity.

Being honest does not have to mean setting out to hurt people's feelings. It doesn't mean putting people down when they have tried their best, but it does mean advocating for yourself when you feel strongly about a situation. If someone is being unreasonable, an authentic person will tell them, without fear of what the repercussions may be. Being authentic means treating difficult situations with tact, to make sure the outcome is best for all parties, rather than one person being unwittingly deceived.

To move yourself in a more transparent direction, start with people you know and trust, who are less likely to be offended by your honesty. If they object, explain that you don't want to mislead them, and that you hope your transparency will encourage more trust going forward.

When you hear the phrase open-minded, you may think it means being willing to try the latest trendy plant milk or take up skydiving. But open-mindedness runs much deeper than this, and it's a trait that is shared by authentic people.

True open-mindedness means respecting and accepting other peoples' way of life, even if it does not align with your own. This means approaching something unfamiliar with curiosity, eager to understand what drives someone to behave in a certain way, rather than condemn them for it. This open-mindedness is not a sign of weakness or uncertainty — in fact, it is exactly the opposite. If you are confident in your own behaviors and have enough self-belief, you will not feel the need to criticize those who do not follow in your footsteps.

To increase your own ability to be open-minded, consider where you get your beliefs from, especially if someone else questions them. If the answer is simply that you have always thought this way, it may be time to open your mind up to the possibility of conflicting ideas. And if you are still convinced, at least you know you have considered the alternatives.

If there is someone in your life that always seems so assured of their decisions and has an unshakeable faith in themselves, this is likely a trait of their authenticity. While many of us are constantly looking to others for approval and doubting our own judgement, authentic people know that their own decision-making ability is enough.

This is not to be confused with arrogance, where someone refuses to budge from a decision they have made no matter how much evidence there is to the contrary. A self-assured person does not claim to be infallible, but knows how to recognize their weaknesses and can act accordingly. Seeking validation is not necessary, since an authentic person has acted on all the available information to them, and they will not be swayed by the opinions of others.

Social media can actually affect your brain, and it has become a famous example of many people's need for validation, with the younger generation in particular placing so much value in the number of likes or followers they have. These metrics mean nothing in real life, so if you want to walk the path to authenticity, start by turning off those notifications and having some faith in your own self worth.

Stephen R. Covey, author of one of the best selling books of all time, "The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People," famously said "Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply" (via What Matters to You). I'm sure you have been in this situation, waiting for someone to finish speaking so that you can immediately tell them why you think they are wrong, or how the same thing happened to you, but the outcome was much worse! This is one trait that sets authentic people apart from the rest — when they listen, they truly listen to get an understanding of what the other person is going through.

Active listening is a skill that many adults don't employ regularly, but it is a key component of making connections with people. For so many people, their mind is racing through their to-do list even as they are in conversation with someone, making it very difficult to be fully present and show empathy to the individual. An authentic person will ask follow-up questions and encourage the person to open up further, which should put them at ease and encourage further communication.

If you already think you are a good listener, tune in to your body language and reactions the next time you are in an important conversation. Try to give the person your undivided attention and resist the urge to respond or interrupt. With a little practice, you can move towards being an authentic listener, which will improve your relationships all round.

In the wake of anonymous social media comments and everyone publicizing their every move online, it seems that tearing other people down has become a standard way for individuals to improve their own low self-esteem. Thankfully, there are still some people who don't automatically judge others for their actions, even if they don't align with their own values. Authentic people are open-minded enough to try to understand another point of view, rather than assume that the other person is in the wrong or needs to be criticized.

Authentic people aim to create a safe space where those around them can feel comfortable being themselves without fear of condemnation. Like most other traits on this list, this means they can form deeper connections with others, who will trust them to offer support and understanding.

To move further in this direction yourself, start by refusing to partake in social media shaming, a practice where there can never be any winners. The next time you feel yourself internally criticizing someone for their choices, try to put yourself in their position instead, and become curious as to why they chose something different from you, rather than assuming them to be in the wrong.

When something goes wrong, often our first instinct can be to immediately try to blame someone else (which, if done regularly, might actually be a sign that someone is a narcissist). Taking total responsibility for our actions is not an easy task, but it is something that sets authentic people apart from the rest. By blaming others, you are not taking the chance to reflect on what you may have done wrong, meaning the chance for self-improvement disappears.

This trait of authenticity ties in to many of the other characteristics on this list, as being comfortable in yourself and caring less about what others think mean that taking the blame for a mistake you have made is not such a difficult thing to do. Don't be fooled, however, into thinking that these individuals can be used as a scapegoat. Since one major authentic trait is the ability to advocate for themselves, they will not take the blame for something that they are not responsible for. Their honest approach can often rub off on those around them, meaning that everyone is more likely to take accountability and stop the damaging blame game in the long run.

One of the crucial elements in building healthy relationships is the ability to show empathy (the kind of thing that someone who exhibits the telltale signs of a Machiavellian personality isn't likely to do). Often confused with sympathy — which means feeling sorry for how someone is feeling — empathy involves trying to connect with how someone is feeling and understanding what it would feel like to be in their shoes. An empath will sense when someone around them is in need of emotional support and listen to what they have to say, often with the intention of understanding their situation and helping them through it.

If you feel like you don't show much empathy just now, there are steps you can take to improve this skill. Empathy has benefits for those who display it as well as those who receive it, such as a sense of belonging and forming deeper connections with people. When someone is confiding in you, ask them questions to deepen your understanding of their issue, rather than jumping in with what you might think is a "solution," so to speak. Becoming more mindful in your everyday life can also help, and that can allow you to better tune in to how your friends and loved ones are feeling.